The operation - part one

It's a Tuesday late in August and Spring is trying to push it's way through. I am sitting at the computer in my home study, peering through one eye at the computer screen. How do I feel? Well, not great but I thought it would be difficult. I was warned my eyesight in the right eye, which has undergone the cornea transplant, would be worse before it got better. But, when you are struggled with your vision all your life, it is hard to contemplate being more blind.
At a later time I might describe my feelings on the day and the emotions I felt about receiving a donor cornea. I need to be more in a contemplative rather than survival mode.
After last Tuesday's op I felt groggy but relieved. I had undergone a general anaethestic. It had been a big day beforehand with upheaval all around me. I had woken with a sore throat and runny nose. Late in the afternoon I called the rooms of my opthamalogist. Let's call him Dr H. His normally cool, calm and collected receptionist pondered out loud why I had not called earlier in the day.
"Well, I have felt worse as the day has gone on," I tried to explain.
She left me with instructions to call Dr H first thing in the morning to see if my cold was worse and if it was not the operation would need to be postponed.
I rode my bike the short 15 minutes home. I complained bitterly to my youngest child, Lucy, blaming her for giving me the cold. She had a head cold for weeks and I had kept telling her to stay away from me. Alas, she loves to jump all over her mum. It was inevitable.
I filled myself up with lemon and honey all evening and couldn't sleep because I was so nervous. I had been gearing up for this day. The next morning I rang Dr H. I explained that I felt Ok. I added that I had a tough day, for various reasons, the day before I had been teary. It would not have helped matters. He said he thought I was fine.
"You will have to wait five months if we wait," he added. He gave me the mobile for the anaethetist and said to call him. I rang Dr A and explained the situation. He said we should assess it when I got there.
So, there I was ready but still unclear if it was happening. He assessed me. The nurse checked me. I was fine apart from nerves. As I was waiting to go under, Dr A asked me about my bad day yesterday. My eyes welled up.