Claire Heaney Cornea Transplant Diary
The day I have been waiting to arrive for seemingly most of my life is fast approaching. I have been in denial. Scared stiff. Part of me feels like I felt as the impending births of my three children approached. I feel like nesting. I feel I should be trimming, tidying, sorting, throwing out .....
I feel like I will never have an opportunity to do those things again. No matter that most of the outstanding tasks have been sitting around waiting to be done while I have chosen to use my time otherwise.
There's a lot about myself and my life that I have control over. But, sadly, not my shockingly bad eyesight. I know people have plenty of worse disabilities and hardships but I feel like I have gone through my life barely being able to see the glass, much less whether it is half empty or not. But we all cut our cloth according to our situation. I don't drive at night unless it is somewhere very close to to my house (this has been great as it has meant that my husband is always the designated driver). I have chosen to continue living in an inner suburb from which I can ride my bike to work, walk the kids to school and so on. I don't think that has been any great hardship. The kids would love a trampoline and backyard and it would be nice to host a big barbie for friends in a lovely backyard. But that's OK. There are parks nearby. I'm used to going to the footy and only really being able to see half the game. That's not so bad when you barrack for perpetually struggling Aussie Rules team, Richmond. Not being able to see most of the action, or inaction, is a blessing. But there are lots of other things that are annoying. Like not being able to see past your nose in the morning before putting your contact lenses in. Not recognising people or speaking to someone you think you know because you can't see properly. Then, as middle age settles in, not seeing those huge black hairs sprouting from my chin and eyebrows. And then, unhelpfully when a pair of tweezers is nowhere to be seen, my husband says: "Gee, you need a good plucking, you have some huge black hairs sprouting from your face." Great!
I feel like I will never have an opportunity to do those things again. No matter that most of the outstanding tasks have been sitting around waiting to be done while I have chosen to use my time otherwise.
There's a lot about myself and my life that I have control over. But, sadly, not my shockingly bad eyesight. I know people have plenty of worse disabilities and hardships but I feel like I have gone through my life barely being able to see the glass, much less whether it is half empty or not. But we all cut our cloth according to our situation. I don't drive at night unless it is somewhere very close to to my house (this has been great as it has meant that my husband is always the designated driver). I have chosen to continue living in an inner suburb from which I can ride my bike to work, walk the kids to school and so on. I don't think that has been any great hardship. The kids would love a trampoline and backyard and it would be nice to host a big barbie for friends in a lovely backyard. But that's OK. There are parks nearby. I'm used to going to the footy and only really being able to see half the game. That's not so bad when you barrack for perpetually struggling Aussie Rules team, Richmond. Not being able to see most of the action, or inaction, is a blessing. But there are lots of other things that are annoying. Like not being able to see past your nose in the morning before putting your contact lenses in. Not recognising people or speaking to someone you think you know because you can't see properly. Then, as middle age settles in, not seeing those huge black hairs sprouting from my chin and eyebrows. And then, unhelpfully when a pair of tweezers is nowhere to be seen, my husband says: "Gee, you need a good plucking, you have some huge black hairs sprouting from your face." Great!
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